Before I start this post… and just for the record… I’m no pro at relationships. I have a few failed relationships under my belt – and I’m not proud. But I’ve finally been able to break through something really tough… something that hurt me so many times in the past. And now that I’m finally able to break through… I’m not afraid of it. Or to blog about it. 😉
With that said…
There is a simple problem in relationships that is super hard to fix. One that hangs over nearly everyone…
In fact, most people in relationships don’t think of actually having this problem. But they all do. Trust me. The only difference is that it plays out differently for each of us.
What am I talking about?
Fear is the problem.
And before you start dismissing this post and thinking that this isn’t an issue for you or your relationship, consider a few things first.
Has fear ever stopped you from doing something that you knew would be good for you to do if you just did it?
If we all were totally honest, all of us have felt this kind of fear from time to time – and if we didn’t act, we realized we missed a great opportunity because of it.
This fear can happen in any part of our lives and can cause problems… but it can really damage our relationships.
When fear holds us hostage in our relationships, it shuts off possibilities and connection.
One place fear shows up with our loved ones is the way we communicate with them.
But, hold up for just a sec…
Why is it so important to take a look at fear and the role that it plays in our relationships and life?
Fear causes us to place bets on losing instead of winning.
The problem is…
When “losing” or “fear of losing” or fear of any kind becomes what you focus on rather than what both you and your partner want – then you almost always get more of what you fear or don’t want.
We restrict and constrict ourselves instead of being open to possibilities when we’re fearful.
When we hold back because of fear, there is no way we can have the connection, communication and love that most of us want with others.
There’s normally three types of fear. Fear of rejection, fear of failure and fear of being wrong.
In most relationships – it’s fear of failure more than anything else. Fear of failure can come up when you feel like every relationship you’ve been in has been a disaster and you don’t want to open yourself to going down that path again.
The problem with all this is that solutions can’t possibly bubble up to the surface if fear is holding a lid on them.
When it comes to our relationships, fear really blocks what we’ll call inspired action that we need to take if we want to create the best relationships possible.
So what do you do to get over this fear in your relationship and make it the best ever?
Well, first you need to make sure you’re in a relationship for all the right reasons. I mean, if you love someone – you’re willing to do whatever it takes to make it great. If you don’t feel that. Maybe it’s more than fear that’s holding you back?
Here are a few ways for you to start recognizing and changing fear in your relationships and start creating more of what you want…
First and foremost, recognize it. Imagine a positive outcome. Please don’t focus on the fear of it not working out.
Think positive. Most of the time, when we’re in the hole of fear, all we can think of is what could go wrong.
Switch your thoughts… it’s just as possible to have a positive outcome as it is to have an negative one, ya know?
Until now, fear may have created a wedge between you and your significant other. And know that there are many ways to start breaking through fear that keeps us isolated and unloved.
Think about where fear is holding you down… and try and move beyond it. It’s a pretty amazing place when you’re not stuck in it and the possibilities are endless… you’ll feel so much love.
If you truly want a strong relationship… let go of the fear – and simply live. It is what it is… it will happen how it’s supposed to happen. But don’t let your thoughts – your fear of the unknown – hold you back.
Because at the end of time, I’ll bet that you wish you would have just went for it…
Does this resonate with you? Comment. I’d love to hear your thoughts.