I am Woman (Part 2)

Part 2 is a continuation of I am Woman (Part 1) blog post.  Be sure and read Part 1 first!

I am taking time to figure myself out. To be quite honest, this has been difficult.  Personally, I’ve always avoided this question in my head about who I am or what I want, only because I’ve always put everything and everyone first.  But now I’m determined to figure out who I am and what makes me happy.  I’m FAR from having it all figured out – and who knows, I may never completely figure it out… but I know I need to start identifying it – because at times I feel so lost and I think it has a lot to do with not knowing myself as much as I should.

I am creative. I have all of this creative energy building up within myself, yet I still haven’t found a way to really utilize it. Yes, I do let it out in Twitter, Facebook, My Blog, Ning, and My Company.  But I still have more and I’d love to use it in a way that will be good for me and my .com life.

I am never satisfied. I know this is a personal issue of mine, but I truly seem to never be satisfied.  But I do confuse dissatisfaction with just not knowing what I want.  Not knowing what I want seems to be why I get dissatisfied.  I am a blessed person.  I’m healthy and living.  But I’m hard on myself – and I normally do things with all my might and put in over 100% but whatever it is, I’m still not completely satisfied with it.  I think in time I’ll get better with this – and just learn to lay off myself for awhile!

I am in love with hitting the road. One of my favorite things to do is to turn up my music and just drive.  There’s something freeing about it, IMO.  I gather my favorite CDs and decide what I want to listen to first.  I make sure to have full tank of gas… and I hit the road.  I truly enjoy the time alone.

I am a giver. I love to give to people.  I wish I could make everyone’s dreams come true.  Between you and I, I always have these moments where I day dream about winning the lotto and making a list in my head about who I’m going to give the money to and how I would do it.  I truly think I would give more than I’d keep… because I am a giver – and always seem to put myself last.

I am a bird! When I went on my first flight – I threw up on take-off and landing.  When I went on my second flight – I threw up on take-off.  I think I did it because I psyched myself out – and was totally freaking about it.  But once I allowed myself to relax and enjoy it – I LOVED it.  One of my favorite things is a window seat – because when I’m flying, I feel like I can conquer the world.  There’s something very humbling about being so high up amongst the clouds.  I have time to reflect and think about things… and when I walk off that plane – I feel rejuvenated.  Even when I sit next to someone difficult – I still enjoy it.

I am misunderstood. So many people around me just don’t ‘get’ me.  They don’t understand what I do and they don’t understand my goals in life.  I feel as if I’m constantly explaining myself – and it’s frustrating.  I’m not sure that people will ever ‘get’ me and I’m getting to the point where I’m ok with that.  But I need to ‘get’ me first – and I’m not quite there yet… still figuring it out!

I am complicated. My mind works in complicated ways.  I feel like I’m constantly complicating things, because I’m an advanced thinker… and not such a good speaker. So when it comes out, it doesn’t really make a whole lot of sense – but what I’m thinking make sense.  Anyway – it’s complicated… and I’m complicated.  But I’m ok with that.  The one thing I want to really work on and explore is my speaking abilities.  I know what I want to say and I know how to say it well – I just need to put it all together!

I am faith. I have faith in God and the universe.  I believe that God has blessed me and put me on this path.  He’s given me the tools to succeed… I just need to put all the pieces together and figure it out.  I believe in God because my father and both brothers are in Heaven and you must be a believer when you lose family.  You must believe that they are in a better place and that God is taking good care of them.

I am a believer. I am a believer in most things.  As a matter of fact, I believe first, then analyze second (which isn’t always a good thing – but that’s just how I do things!).  I believe that one day I’m going to be a successful gal in many ways.  In my career – in my personal life – and in living.  But I do believe that it’s going to take a lot of work and a lot of time.  But I’m up for it.  I’m ready to put in the time to make things happen for my future.  I want a family of my own someday, I want a career that’s amazing and I’m hoping to be doing something I love to do.  I also believe that someday there is going to be more peace in the word, because there is so much good in the world.  Everyone just needs to believe and do their part.

I am romantic. I’m not only romantic, but I love romance!  My heart melts for it!  I love the romance in movies and on tv.  I love being in the park and seeing an elderly couple hold hands and kiss.  I love happy endings – and I’m mostly in love with the little things that are romantic, such as opening a door for a gal or having an amazing candle light dinner.  However I do know that most of this romantic mushy stuff happens only in movies… but I do like to day dream about it!

I am going to be ok. I know deep down that I’m going to be okay and that I need to be more in control of my life.  I need to not be afraid of things and shoot for the stars… because I know that everything happens for a reason – and it will all work out.  And I’m going to be ok.

. . . TO BE CONTINUED!

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8 Comments

Filed under Personal Thoughts, What's up in my neck of the woods?

8 responses to “I am Woman (Part 2)

  1. WOW! You & I are alike in many ways in this chapter! You made me smile from my heart. I too am on a journey of finding me. Enjoy the journey hun!!! I can’t wait to hear the next chapter…

    Hugs!

  2. This is lovely Chelsea.

  3. lpink75

    Another great post! You have inspired me to “find me” too.

  4. You are such an amzing person. I want you to know that knowing you is good but it seems to change as event change. Meaning, when you have children (and you will) your lifes purpose changes again. I love my children more than life but, it is no longer about YOU! I think the sense of dissatisfaction (which I also experience) comes from the way we were raised. We didn’t have a lot of stability in our lives and seemed to move and move and move to the next EVENT! Anyways, know that you are loved and looked up to in many ways. Although you may not know yourself, know that you are an amazing and beautiful individual.

  5. Wow, more wonderful expressions of who you are! I love the innocence that comes through.

    What a beautiful heart you have! I relate a LOT to what you’re saying here.

  6. Pingback: I am Women (Part 3) « The North Dakotan

  7. Pingback: The Best Is Yet To Come « The North Dakotan

  8. Pingback: I am Woman (Part 4) « The North Dakotan

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