I would say we all do some wondering from time to time. But I’ve often wondered about things in my past. Especially what would have happened if I had have taken a different route. These thoughts can drive a person crazy! It’s not like I want to think this way. I definitely want to think in the moment and the future – not the past. But why does my mind wonder back into my past memories – making me think about what might have been.
Is my head trying to tell me something? Perhaps it’s a sign? But of what?
My mind constantly remembers my senior year and the decisions I made thereafter. Nothing really before that… as it seems to focus a lot in that period of time. I do believe it has something to do with all of the decisions I had to make (bad and good) at that particular time. For about 2 years I was pretty lost. Making decisions on a whim only to discover that I really made some big mistakes. But I would rather just forget about them and move on.
I have. I have moved on – completely. But I constantly think about that period of time and I’ve realized that I was completely out of my mind! It’s true. Man, I made some crazy decisions that affected my whole life. As ‘kids’ – why do we do that? So dumb!
But I do wonder about the path I didn’t travel. Would I be somewhere amazing right now? Would I be doing something that I love? Would I be successful? Would I have a family? … The list goes on.
It reminds me of a saying my mom always told me… “the grass isn’t always greener on the other side, honey. Be happy with what you have because there are a lot of people out there that have it way worse than you”.
I guess this post is to figure out if I’m the only odd ball out there that constantly wonders about the past? Or perhaps there are more of you out there that consistently battle these past decisions?
Either way, I’m super pumped for the future. And I can’t wait to find out what’s in store for me. I do believe I’m much wiser going forward and I hope to make some really good decisions – which should outweigh the bad ones I’ve made in my past. I’m trying to look above and beyond my past and look more at what I’m going to accomplish in the next few years …and who I’m going to become. Let’s face it – I still have a lot of growing up to do… but I’m definitely looking forward to growing and learning. And let’s hope I don’t look back in 20 years and say ‘what was I thinking’!
I suppose we just have to realize that it’s all up to the universe at this point!
We live, we love… and we move on. Who knows what the future has in store for us. My life has definitely turned out to be something totally opposite than what I had thought years ago. But I’m sure it will all make sense in the end! In fact, I know it will… wondering thoughts and all.